I spent 30 minutes on the phone with a pastor from Fresno yesterday. I don't spend a lot of time with other pastors but a phone conversation is pretty easy. You get to avoid the avoid the quirky debate about who will pick up the tab for coffee. There's no temptation to discretely check your cell phone during the conversation. And, you can cut off the conversation at any time by saying that you are close to your intended destination.
He wanted to learn more about our community outreach programs. Specifically, how we feed and clothe our city's hungry and homeless population. Every week, we feed 300 people, give out clothes, and provide toiletries and groceries at our rented downtown facility. We had a great dialogue and I was happy about how it went but, of course, we talked about me and my church the entire time. I love talking about me. Love it. It's one of my core character defects. These conversations are deeply tethered to a sin that many pastors struggle with but neglect to address because it feels like ambition and motivation for “the Kingdom”. In fact, my ego was part one of the reasons that I was fired at my last ministry job. I started believing my own press releases and forgot that He should have been my focus - not me.
That's just one reason that I don't really "fit" in our local pastoral community. A fellow pastor who I met at a conference in San Diego recently shared some of his thoughts about "good" pastors. I can resonate with some of what he said. Important caveat: I don't offer his thoughts as a criticism of others. In fact, I fall into these ministry traps all the time. Below are some of his thoughts.
Pastors LOVE talking about their church with other pastors. I don’t. In my opinion, those conversations are deeply tethered to a sin that many pastors struggle with but neglect to address because it feels like ambition and motivation for “the Kingdom”. Satan’s one-size-fits-all wrench, if you will.
Lots of pastors LOVE to use fluffy, spiritual language and, if they're really good, make people feel pretty dumb. I gave up on this game a long time ago when I found out that all of my colleagues also use "Christianese" to impress others and that everyone was just plagiarizing each other in speech. Turns out, you can’t copyright dialogue and collect royalties.
Good pastors LOVE arguing theology and methodology. This one is much more recent for me. Don’t get me wrong, I still have opinions about things, but the older I get, the more I learn how little I actually know about God. I firmly believe that if my church’s platform to tell people about the the Gospel grows dramatically, it will be in spite of me not because of me. I have to believe this to keep myself submitted wholly to God’s will for my ministry.
Good pastors LOVE using buzz-words like “reformed” and “missional” and “intentional”. Honestly, I am not sure anyone actually knows what those words mean. I am serious, I have heard them used so many times in so many different ways that I am too confused to say them in public anymore. It’s almost like trying to give a speech at the Kremlin using the words you picked up from watching the Russian-translated version of a Tarantino film. Let me take my best shot at defining them…
missional = doing good works for people who, typically, aren't connected to church
reformed = fundamentalist but cooler
intentional = thinking before acting
Finally, good pastors LOVE to frequent Christian bookstores to purchase the latest Christian books. I don’t.
On a side note, I avoid going to the local Christian bookstore because people always refer to me as "Pastor Darrin". I hate being called "Pastor Darrin". Why do people do it anyway? I guess it's ok for "Doctor Smith" but I don't run around calling people "engineer Dave" or "lawyer Susan". Christian books usually fall into two categories for me, books I already agree with or books that just make me mad and aren’t helpful. Instead, I like reading books about history or biographies or stuff from classic Christian thinkers or practical books that I can apply to my life immediately. Pastors think it is so cool to tell others about the latest book they have read and when I say “Hmmm, I’ve never heard of that one,” they look at me like they are the cheer squad captains in high school and I am the female tuba player from the marching band who showed up to cheer tryouts.
Those things help me remember my core responsibilities as a Christian (pastor, mechanic, radio host, etc): To love people, to share the Message of Christ, and to make disciples. If I'm not careful, other things can mess everything up.